Day 557: God's Will versus Free Choice

Continuing from Day 556: Are Demons the Key to Reality?:
"Yes I stopped them, and therefore I proved that self-forgiveness was the tool with self-honesty within which one can affect a real transformation in the physical while here in limited form. And that set the scene to a most astounding experience where the demonic were explored over a long period of time of about a year and a half where I set out to help every demon I can, no matter what unconditionally, to find self-forgiveness."

So after the gifts were given and I practiced them in, I was busy with them and I had regular meetings with the angels and guides from heaven. And through self-forgiveness we decided, me and my ex wife to give the marriage another go and there was another message from God coming through the ex wife from the messenger Chief and said that God is giving me a gift and that would be that the relationship will work, that we get another chance and it will be like absolutely fantastic.

And I could see that because I mean with self-forgiveness you develop quite an intense intimacy and for the first time I could actually embrace with understanding a relationship and truly work at making it work.

So, to my great surprise approximately a year later, my ex wife said she can’t handle it, she wants to move on and she’s met someone else. So I was in absolute shock because we have absolutely discussed the point, we’ve done the self-forgiveness and to me self-forgiveness is an absolute re-birth – obviously it wasn’t so for her.

And I had a discussion with Chief and I wanted to know how could God’s will – because the words used to me was that it was God’s will that we could do our marriage again – how could God’s will not be absolute was my question. There was silence and the answer that came is that she’s got free choice, and I said how could free choice override God’s will? I absolutely could not understand that because to me the obvious was that as long as free choice exists, man exist as ‘’less than, as a demonic force within where they can allow evil to exist and have the choice to choose evil.
But once you have made the choice for God equal and one, or as at that stage I saw it as image and likeness not equal and one, then there is no more choice, that’s the path you walk, that is what I was walking.

The shock was immense. So I realized that my very foundation, my trust in God and God ’s will and in his absolute perfection was shaken. I went on a trip to a Namibia and was in a state of shock where everything inside was dead, there was nothing, I couldn’t find anything. I was breathing, I was a piece of meat, I was speaking, I was doing but there was no feeling whatsoever – I equated that to death, because it’s like something dies. And this experience, this point of free choice, this in essence relationship with God then became one that was no longer one in trust. I was still walking, but understanding that choice could separate man from God. And I would have to walk with that understanding and not be able to have or be in a relationship or experience, such an absolute level of commitment until I have clearly proven to myself that I was in fact walking the image and likeness of God and I was in fact self-fulfilled.

So I started walking within that context, but the change was now absolute. I couldn’t return to my old life, I couldn’t do what I did before. The decisions I made stuck, if I tried to go back I couldn’t. The pain and discomfort was too immense, it was a physical resistance to go back to the old existence.
So I decided to completely submerge myself within finding a solution for this world and placing that first and everything else subject to that, because if that point was satisfied, all would have what is best for all. This was approximately 1995 - fascinating isn’t it? Now nearly 16 years ago.

Day 554: The Power of Forgiveness

Before I got to the point of testing the education so extensively I first went through the process of divorce. After I did my divorce I discovered an interesting thing - I looked at my own actions within the context of my relationship within my marriage, and realized that if I entertain the thoughts that were in my mind I become an unpredictable person that tend to be the result of energetic feelings. And many of them being feelings that are misunderstood in rage of not being supported in all kinds of experiences and yet I am the one that made most of the mistakes. So I proposed that, to my ex wife, that we sit down and forgive each other and we made a day to do that and to be honest with each other so for the sake of the children we can move on. And one evening we got together and face to face we started the process of self-forgiveness and asking for forgiveness and speaking the forgiveness out aloud with the undertaking and the understanding that we would push ourselves to forgive and not hold that which we were going to hear for the first time against the other, we are here to clean the slate.

Now obviously at this stage, and this is quite important, Phillip Niemand was already dead although my father was still alive. These two factors are quite important at this stage. We then did the forgiveness and it went very emotional and explosive because things were shared that was not shared before and we did the forgiveness and the experience of release was immense - doing this forgiveness aloud. And as the evening progressed - it went on for many many hours of forgiveness - at some stage suddenly something happened that we knew was possible but which didn’t happen yet which was that the gift of Phillip Niemand which was deep trance medium ship, was transferred to my ex wife, and the next moment Phillip Niemand was in the body and he was extremely pissed off with me. He said to me I must save her and I must tell her what I know, and that I know the answer. And I looked at him and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I mean here I am I am busy doing the forgiveness, I am doing my best. But nobody seemed to want to hear what I have to say. ” He was extremely upset, and eventually even I got upset with him because he was so insisting that apparently I know the answer to what was going on in the universe, and I must save her from what she’s buy doing, which was obviously wanting to have a happy life on earth which was her endeavour. And therefore she wanted to take me out of her life because I am a high risk factor. And I should save her from herself and help her and I didn’t know exactly what he meant and it took many years for me to find out. In fact many many years to find out what it was that Phillip Niemand was really saying to me at that stage, because why could I not understand his message was because I was very certain there were no demonic forces. I mean here I was again doing forgiveness; I have not met a single point that was demonic except human beings that became demonic through their emotional conditions due to environmental issues. So people will get angry or get full of rage because of things that happen in their world, because of jealousy, because of fear. But those actions would be demonic and evil and therefore evil to me only existed in the minds of men and not anywhere else. And so, heaven was a place to aspire for – that was my absolute commitment.

At this stage, after the evening of forgiveness, me and my ex wife decided to give the relationship another try, and a process started that I did not expect. In the evenings suddenly a being would take over my ex wife’s body and start speaking to me in a way that, which I obviously understood due to its very nature as a message from God and it was stated as such, that due to the forgiveness we did and my embracing of forgiveness God had a gift for me – and that was the words that was used. And a process started which was presenting these gifts and that these gifts were presented by people on instruction from God, from the heavens, and these beings were in the heavens. And that if you hear the nature of these gifts, it was astounding and it was very clear that forgiveness was proven to me to be one of the ultimate keys, and God recognized it and was speaking not directly to me, but was sending messengers with messages to me which shows that I have in fact in a small way proven the effectiveness and power of forgiveness. Now, each one of these gifts required me to actually apply the gift and test it out and become it, embrace it, become the living words of it so to speak.

Related articles

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• Day 552: Is God to Blame for War?
• And Lead us not into Temptation, but Deliver us from Evil: Day 94
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Day 406: Relationship Paranoia Guidelines

When you are dissecting your Relationship Paranoia in writing, here are the points to consider to be placed within the map, where you are mapping your Mind Consciousness System to find the Entity / Personality / Desire that you have as an Energetic Consciousness that places certain conditions on your ideas of Relationship, how you want it to feel like and what you want it to be like. Now obviously, when Relationships are created based on the Mind Consciousness System Entities relating: one ends up with Relationships that are not effective within this Physical world. Unfortunately, money plays a very big role in making it possible for people to be in Relationships that are Energy Based and that are not Physical / Real.

So, Relationship is about being the Living Flesh, the Living Word - and not the Energy Word, which results from accumulated Memories integrated into the Flesh that forms Associations and Relationships with other Memories to Creates Entities, which results in Visions that one see as your Intuition and your Personal Ideology as an Energy story - through which you want to then find your ‘One’, The One that is going to make you feel ‘Special’. For that you have created within yourself a very Special Feeling that you believe that: if you have that Feeling, you have found ‘The One’. That is why you will go around trying to meet people, as many as possible, trying to find ‘The One’.

Obviously, all part of (for lack of a better word) a Massive Continuous Paranoid Mind Fuck - because the repeating Thoughts and Feelings within your Mind are that which starts to eventually specify itself to become part of the Flesh and you end up believing it’s Real, because you are ‘experiencing something’.

To start with the Relationship Paranoia Correction and to Stop it:

You have to look at your Recurring Thoughts about Relationship, People and about Sex. You write them down, because you are going to walk them one by one.

Then you have to have a look at where the Thoughts comes from, that means the Origin of the Memory or Memories - how many of these Memories are together and they form Relationships that will form Symbols and these Symbols will be symbolized by your likes and dislikes of for instances Celebrities, Body Shapes, Eye Color, Hair Color - all kinds of things would be specified according to how your Memory responded to particular Pictures that you saw.

Remember: all the people you have seen/are seeing in your Life (because you are at this stage just a Mind Consciousness Entity), exist within you as Pictures - they are not existing as Real People. That’s why it’s so easy to drive half the World into Starvation, because none of the people within your Mind Memory Structure are real as far as you are concerned, because they are only real to the Mind Consciousness Entity if you have some Benefit from it, if there is Self Interest. Therefore, all the people you’ll have in your Life - will always be related to your Entity’s Self Interest as far as what you can get, Not as far as what you can Give - and you will Only Give, because you know by Giving, you will be Getting.

So, the whole way it should be - is Reversed, very cleverly, by the Entity which you call Personality or Character. This causes one to make Grave Mistakes when you are looking at Relationships, because you are looking at the Graven Image, which is the Image of the Little Message that will be on your Grave one day, “here rests a wonderful person”. And that will be the total extent of your life, because the very wonderful person dies as the Graven Image at Death, because it was just an Energetic Entity that was subject to the Physical Body - existing like a Parasite, Harvesting Energy the whole time through an elaborate Mechanism of Memory, Associations, Personalities, Interactions and Memory Activations…it is an extensive story. It’s best that you start with Desteni I Process LITE as soon as possible if you Ever want to be Free from these Entities, these Parasites that you have been given through Generations of Parenting and is the Sins that has been visited upon the Fathers up to the Seventh Generation.

So, you have an extensive amount of stuff to sort out and with Desteni I Process LITE you will have a buddy, because you can’t do it Alone. You see, you’re not an Individual - an Individual is a Living Organism that functions as the Living Word as Jesus said; while you are just a Mind Consciousness Entity and you are subject to the Physical Body and to everybody else – you’re not an Individual, you are Not Functioning as a Reasonable Being. If you were a Reasonable Being - you would look after the World and you would Not allow the Extermination of all the Animals so that you can have beautiful houses and stuff, so that you can have relationships, marry, have sex, have children and then teach them to do the same that you’ve been doing. Because then you Feel Better about Yourself, because “Look, God sent me these children and they are just like me, I had nothing to do with it, I didn’t create them”…really? You have Created them as a Product of your Relationships. Understanding these Relationships - you have to Dissect them and you have to take apart each point, piece by piece. To look at how to walk this Process - is to use the Problem, Solution, Reward Writing System. You will see with Marlen and various of the Journey to Life writers; where you identify the Thought, you write out (obviously first after you have mapped it all on paper), you write out the Relationships, Associations, the Energies, the Memories, the Negatives and the Positives, what it resulted in, the Exact Nature of the Thought, the Feeling, the Emotion. Then you Deconstruct it and you bring it to a Point where you must, if you want to have a Proper Relationship: be the Physical Flesh as Self, without Thought, Feeling and Emotion, but as a LIVING BEING in a Relationship with another LIVING BEING. That BEINGness is complete in every way - where you Speak and Live and have your Being Express/Live through and as the Flesh, so that you are able to in fact be Intimate with another Person in and as PHYSICAL equality and oneness. That obviously takes Sex to a whole New Dimension that you cannot even begin to Imagine, because Orgasm for instance becomes the total Physical Flesh in every way. And it’s Not based on the Other Person, it is based on your Expression, your Intimacy, the Appreciation of Each Other - it is an Amazing thing that actually Exists. But, Not yet - because in the Mind Consciousness System there is a Battle going on and this Battle is a Battle of Energy. Therefore, you are always looking through the Secret Mind for your Great Answer to the Greatest Secret you carry within You: your Secret Person that’s going to make you One. Therefore, you are a secret admirer of many - from celebrities, to people that you know, to the neighbors wife, it doesn’t matter: You’re a Secret Admirer, because you are searching to Fulfill your Secret. Your Secret is that you Desire Happiness, but you don’t know how it Functions and how to put it together. Yes, because Nobody ever actually Taught you, especially not when it was Suppose to happen in the First Seven Years of your life (and then the Next Seven Years and the next seven years), the first twenty one years of your Life is critical in Who you will Be - it’s very difficult after those twenty one years to change your life, it’s actually very difficult to change your life after the first seven years.

So, the Journey to Life is a Process through which one can actually find the Freedom, Fulfillment and Happiness that you so dearly Desire - But your Mind Consciousness Entity, your Personality-Character-Energetic-Consciousness- thingy: stands No Chance to ever achieve this. Join Us - and those of you who take on Relationship Paranoia: you have an interesting Journey, because there are Multiple Dimensions that should be walked. If you are a Destonian, you want your Partner to Walk the Relationship Paranoia – so that you can get your Relationship to a Physical Oneness and Equality, a True Appreciation of Life. It must be done in writing openly, so that one can clearly see the Process, so that Trust can be Established; because the Mind is a Secret Place and Secrets always Lead to Dishonesty as our Wonderful Governments, Corporations and Consumer Systems Proves: Secrets lead to Harm.  We do Not want Harm, we want Harmony - not with Money, so - not Harm-Money, we want Harmony. Equal Money is the answer to that; because then there will be Harmony.

You desire more Money – it’s just another way where you are utilizing an External Power to Control others so that you can have your Possible Dream Relationship. And this Dream Never comes true, not through the Mind, not through the Entity which you have cultivated as consciousness.

So, the bulb of Enlightenment is fusing and it is part of the old conspiracy, which is the Light Bulb Conspiracy. That is why you will find you will be moving from light bulb to light bulb looking for Enlightenment, a Relationship that you can have this wonderful something that will bring about your twin flame, your special twin spark, your soul mate. And then, if that is so True: Self Honesty would dictate - the moment you find your soul mate, that it should function Physically Properly - you would not need to Compromise in any way, because you are both the Living Word One and Equal. If that is not so - what do you know: the expiry date of the light bulb happened and your Enlightenment wasn’t Real. Your Enlightenment / ‘Real Enlightenment’ would Enlighten the World and bring about an understanding of how to Live as the Living Word in this World - that is what Jesus came to Present and you have Not considered the Message.

Join Us, because this is the Journey that will take you to Life, if you Dare - or to Death, if you don’t Dare.

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• Day 395: Paranoia: the Home of Human Reason - Part One
• Day 400: The Paranoia of Intent
• Day 403: Religious Paranoia
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Day 14: Do you Love Breakups?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in spite of the repeated evidence in my own living experience where love failed to sustain a relationship and prevent it from breaking up, I still place value in love as the bond and reason to engage in relationships without considering the practical factors like: communication, past life clearing, vocabulary alignment, psychological patterning clearing, honesty, intimacy, goal alignment, secret mind eradication, investigation of the allowances and acceptances of irrational fear and the necessity of skill training to prepare myself for effective agreements to hold the relationship together as a giving of myself in total commitment to successful living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept breakups to be the natural  condition of human relationships instead of acquiring relationship agreement skills to manage the relationships as equals and to support the integrity of the commitment to each other as the expression of self respect and respect of each other as living beings to prevent the fear of being hurt and the fear of vulnerability that is the key to complete trust and intimacy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept love as an untouchable feeling that will somehow obliterate the physical evidence that love do not conquer all, and that I allowed myself to become irrationally possessed with love to such a degree that I became blind to the physical signs that predictably show the signs of breakup and failure already in many cases BEFORE the relationship turned into a committed agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept love to be holy when it clearly shows love is used as manipulation with or without intent to get feelings fulfilled and to counter the fears of loneliness while these fears only go to the greater fear of breakup later that compromise all rational relationship stability considerations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that thought plays the major creative role in the creation of love through energizing and justifying feelings through a process of listing acceptable and unacceptable points that I can live with, instead of standing on the principle that will create a certain successful relationship agreement through following the common sense of openness, self-honesty, integrity, and communication. All the points I know is critical for a stable commitment, yet I compromise through justification because I fear I may not get into the relationship unless I compromise. Yet, the reality of the breakup is born out of the compromise before the relationship starts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the use of love in movies and advertising to influence me as to how I project that love should be while I deny that the picture perfect presentation is not based in the reality of daily living – yet, I allow myself to compromise my integrity and that of my partner and foolishly follow the road of breakup using justification and compromise to make my decision sound right in the thoughts I entertain as I create the illusion of my choice by colouring it in with all the reasons why, while denying all the reasons why not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place all my trust in Love instead of the common sense of living in ways that is practically best for all life and thus best to be the foundation of all relationships in all ways.

I commit myself to create love as the living result of communication, past life clearing, vocabulary alignment, psychological patterning clearing, self honesty, intimacy, goal alignment, investigation of and release of irrational fears and the training of myself in the skills of effective agreement design that all my relationships maybe always be best on what is best for life because of the relationship that was agreed to be formed.

I commit myself to reform the foundation of relationships to be lived by me and passed on to my children that is based in the common sense practical living in space and time that will always result in what is both best for the relationship and best for all life as life as a group is based on relationships and the consequential outflows of the agreements within relationships and I stand for that which is mathematically predictably best for all life.

I commit myself to reform the foundation of love to be the result of effective common sense living in a practical measurable way where all cards are always on the table and no thoughts exist that are hidden that could lead to justification and judgments that will end up in break-ups purely because the self interest of feeling was measured to be worth more that the integrity and respect of self honest living.

I commit myself to hold only life as worthy and holy and to reform all relationships on earth to that which respect and protect life in all ways necessary.

I commit myself to reform the understanding of the place and use of the mind and thinking to its rightful place as a tool with which to design living patterns of flesh as self that is best for all life and not allow myself the compromise to regard the mind as more than life and as a tool that has rights that overshadow life.

I commit myself to make sure that movies and advertising is no longer used in ways to design the human into a robotic consumer that must live a life of compromise and desire just to feed the greed and fear of those unwilling to respect and honour life as equal.

I commit myself to put all trust in right relationships where I will play the part of one pole to make sure that no uneven polarity is created through which life will be imprisoned to the illusions of energetic consciousness to make sure that life as the physical is respected and supported as it was intended as the dominion that was given.

Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in regret as if I would like to punish me for not being able to get what I want and desire on my terms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in relationships on terms that is based in self interest and that time and time again fail to produce a result that is best for all parts of the relationship and that eventually always end in regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that letting go is in fact the act of regret as it follows that which could have been directed breath by breath in ways that is best for all relationships, but because I submitted to my fears and desires for a controlled outcome within which I get what I want and thus I end up as the winner as per my definition as I created it in my imagination, I end up in regret when my imagination and visualization failed to materialize the way I want it to be and then I have to let go of my desire and accept failure. Thus letting go is so difficult as it implies my acceptance of failure as the mind and ego and my ego do not like to lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the imaginary world in my mind that are not aligned to actual reality regardless of the multiple experiences I have encountered where things did not work out my way and forced me to regret and then to letting go so I can accumulate the will again to try again in getting my way, forcing my way, manipulating my way as I have convinced myself that my way as I visualize and imagine it is my birth right regardless and in spite of the evidence that with each human having this affliction, it means that it is impossible within the current context of agreed illusionary reality to come to a point where all can have what they want and desire.

I forgive myself that I refuse to realize that If I do the greatest easiest act in the real reality of the physical, I can in fact be part of a solution that will make it possible to fulfil my wants and desires as long as I allow others the same in fact and not just in the illusion of free choice which I have founded on the mind where I have as all others, an illusion within which I can imagine anything as if it is really possible when it is not. It is when I try to superimpose the imaginary reality on real reality that I lose my sanity and engage in actions that drives me to regret to remind me that the mind is not reality, but in spite of this constant reminder I keep on using letting go of the previous round of ego, to just do the same mistake again as I try to validate myself as ego, without realizing that the ego I created in the mind is Not a Real being, it is just Imagination feeding off the energy of the physical body and that it ends when the body return to its source.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I will never die, creating within my imaginary illusion the idea that the way it feels in the illusion is the real me when in fact the real me is the point of regret at the moment of death where I must let go for real for the first time as I lose that which I was able to abuse and manipulate in the name of my ego, my body and the ‘I’ I have allowed myself to become and in which image and likeness I created my reality come to a sudden end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this world is a world of regret where I have let go of my responsibility through hiding in the illusion of my own making as the energy body as ego in my mind where I wait for death to escape the consequences I know is in every moment coming to me as a dark cloud I have called the devil and darkness just to motivate me to keep on running in circles in my mind to escape this inevitable regret, this what I know I must face as the evidence of this end is proven for all as death, yet I refuse to stop and consider that there is something so immensely wrong and screwed up as this world as my reality and my accepted nature as ego human, that my fear and anxiety grows daily as I keep on falling back to the ego through letting go of the previous failure of the ego, but I do not stop to bring an end to my suffering and fear or stop to bring an end to the suffering of those I have trapped in cycles of absolute desperation through the poverty I have imposed upon them in my search to imaginary excellence and happiness on my terms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a light so blinding that as I search for another, I search for the light that it may blind me so effectively that I can be sure to never let go of my desire for happiness regardless of the regret I have moments of from time to time.

I commit myself to use regret to force me to stop using my mind as reality and that I will dedicate myself to return to home which is here as that which is equal in measurable space and time as the physical.

I commit myself to never engage in relationships made and prepared in my mind and imagination and to spend time in real time through communication and sharing to establish real trusts that will stand the test of time that I may never have to let go of another just because I regret not making sure we are really actually on the same understanding about what is best for life.

I commit myself to never let go of any lesson I have learned unless I have brought it back to physical space time reality where I can find that which is worthy as this experience as the body, my body which I have abused so many times in the name of  desires and search for happiness.

I commit myself to stop my imaginary world and all the players which are just versions on my desires and to focus on living as the body, to focus to become aware as the body in every way equal and one that I may discover the vast universe that existed parallel with me but I never consider as also part of why I am here in a process to find self honesty and to rebirth myself as life.

I commit myself to explain and be the example of this solution as this reality to be part of what is real of this dimension of existence where I spend a predetermined time and to make this reality a place where all will have what is best for all to bring an end to the escape of the regret that visit us all from time to time as we let go of our failures just to repeat our failures. I will not let go of my failures till I have corrected what I have allowed in the name of my ego that Life may be here and ego no more.

I commit myself to be able to live so completely in every breath that I am able to die in any breath and in that moment I will be certain that no regret ever exist and I have lived as Life should live and I have given life as I have received life and in this I have created a world that is best for all life to which each life form will come to be born onto support and abundance and happiness to explore the multiple universe of the physical we have degenerated and degraded to only picture version of our delusions of imagination. I commit myself to get to know directly every part, every dimension that is here that I may see what life is really about in every way.

I commit myself to embrace the darkness as I know I am from the darkness of the womb and that the only light is that which is based on the physical laws and that any other light conjured up in the imagination generator as the mind, is but a way to deny what is here and a way to not take responsibility for life. This world is the evidence of the abuse of the light and it must stop as it will stop anyway at death. Why wait for the regret at death and the letting go that cannot return. I rebirth myself now and live breath by breath that which is best for all life until that is all that is here in this world as all relationships of our definition of ourselves and each other as the image and likeness of life.