Day 557: God's Will versus Free Choice

Continuing from Day 556: Are Demons the Key to Reality?:
"Yes I stopped them, and therefore I proved that self-forgiveness was the tool with self-honesty within which one can affect a real transformation in the physical while here in limited form. And that set the scene to a most astounding experience where the demonic were explored over a long period of time of about a year and a half where I set out to help every demon I can, no matter what unconditionally, to find self-forgiveness."

So after the gifts were given and I practiced them in, I was busy with them and I had regular meetings with the angels and guides from heaven. And through self-forgiveness we decided, me and my ex wife to give the marriage another go and there was another message from God coming through the ex wife from the messenger Chief and said that God is giving me a gift and that would be that the relationship will work, that we get another chance and it will be like absolutely fantastic.

And I could see that because I mean with self-forgiveness you develop quite an intense intimacy and for the first time I could actually embrace with understanding a relationship and truly work at making it work.

So, to my great surprise approximately a year later, my ex wife said she can’t handle it, she wants to move on and she’s met someone else. So I was in absolute shock because we have absolutely discussed the point, we’ve done the self-forgiveness and to me self-forgiveness is an absolute re-birth – obviously it wasn’t so for her.

And I had a discussion with Chief and I wanted to know how could God’s will – because the words used to me was that it was God’s will that we could do our marriage again – how could God’s will not be absolute was my question. There was silence and the answer that came is that she’s got free choice, and I said how could free choice override God’s will? I absolutely could not understand that because to me the obvious was that as long as free choice exists, man exist as ‘’less than, as a demonic force within where they can allow evil to exist and have the choice to choose evil.
But once you have made the choice for God equal and one, or as at that stage I saw it as image and likeness not equal and one, then there is no more choice, that’s the path you walk, that is what I was walking.

The shock was immense. So I realized that my very foundation, my trust in God and God ’s will and in his absolute perfection was shaken. I went on a trip to a Namibia and was in a state of shock where everything inside was dead, there was nothing, I couldn’t find anything. I was breathing, I was a piece of meat, I was speaking, I was doing but there was no feeling whatsoever – I equated that to death, because it’s like something dies. And this experience, this point of free choice, this in essence relationship with God then became one that was no longer one in trust. I was still walking, but understanding that choice could separate man from God. And I would have to walk with that understanding and not be able to have or be in a relationship or experience, such an absolute level of commitment until I have clearly proven to myself that I was in fact walking the image and likeness of God and I was in fact self-fulfilled.

So I started walking within that context, but the change was now absolute. I couldn’t return to my old life, I couldn’t do what I did before. The decisions I made stuck, if I tried to go back I couldn’t. The pain and discomfort was too immense, it was a physical resistance to go back to the old existence.
So I decided to completely submerge myself within finding a solution for this world and placing that first and everything else subject to that, because if that point was satisfied, all would have what is best for all. This was approximately 1995 - fascinating isn’t it? Now nearly 16 years ago.

Day 496: Masturbation and the Law of Attraction - Sex Gods - Part 4

Continuing from the previous blog, Day 495: Masturbation and the Law of Attraction – Money Transfers - Part 3:
“This inequality has taken the world now closer and closer to a brink of total destruction. Because more and more understand one thing -and you can imagine that for yourself: as more and more people are without the basic needs to survive, the human being will turn into a survival instinct being. What will the human do? What will you do for your children if you don´t have food? Would you steal? You will steal. Will you sell your body for money? You will sell your body for money -you will do whatever it takes to feed your children. We are busy creating a society which is going to have consequences for us for some time to come.”

And, everyone have a look. You feel powerless and helpless to do anything about it. We have created a magnificent way to deal with it. We have created an energetic feeling. We call it LOVE. "Let´s just love the world back together". Let´s take that love-feeling back to masturbation and sex: how well is that working? Two thirds of everyone that gets together in that feeling of love end up divorcing, isn´t it? The others end up in secret relationships. So at the end of the day, very few people in this world are actually in a sexual relationship within a relationship that you can call love. Because it´s all about this energetic movement. The moment you are fulfilled with your energy, you tend to have eyes that wonder whether another feeling of energy won´t be greater than the one you already have. And then you start searching for another feeling and you call that love as well. And then you say: "I don´t love you anymore. I am now looking for another love." But what you are really looking for is not love. It is energy.

So that´s why we at Desteni say that love doesn´t really exist as one would like it to be. The love that exists in the world is one based in energy. And that energy has a beginning and an end. It changes -from love to hate, from hate to love. It´s most prolifically demonstrated in relationships. And specifically in sex and masturbation. For instance, if you are making love to your wife and while you´re making love a picture pops in that takes you to your orgasm -because that´s your imaginary relationship that you have on the side, your dream relationship that you in secret masturbate about while you are in your marriage, you must know your marriage is in serious trouble. It´s inevitable that you are going to get fed up with your partner because your imaginary relationship is going to grow stronger than your real relationship. And then, once that breaks up, you´ll say "ok cool, now I can actually go out and find another love partner. But in fact, you were already committing an act of adultery in the time that you had your imaginary relationship.
The same as what happens when you´re busy with your masturbation relationship. And understand, we are talking here about the principles that happen within energy -don´t believe what I´m saying, go and investigate it for yourself self-honestly. Look at yourself and at that what you´ve already experienced. Don´t justify! Don´t make it right - be self-honest! And you´re going to be amazed at what you´re going to find about what´s really going on within are so called oneness-reality of the great human being.

So, let´s look at the point, the implication, of you being able to within a oneness reality (being able) to bring into your energetic presence the energy you perceive that you...when you saw a person walking on the street that you have now an imaginary relationship with, you had a particular feeling that that person transferred to you -which was their energy, that was their presence. So now you bring their presence which is their energy into your energy without their permission and then you masturbate, taking it to an orgasm, making/creating this imaginary beautiful experience -but what are you really doing? What you do in thought, word and deed is the same. That is an understanding within all our religions. The implication of what you are doing is actually: rape. You are actually raping the person. Look at it: you are taking a person against their will, (taking) their energy and you are having a sexual experience. No permission is possible.

If one take porn for instance what is it you are busy with? You are believing that you have an exchange - that the being, because they make money out of what they are doing, that that gives you permission to actually masturbate around the porn. Yes, from that perspective it´s so. They are selling their energy, which is their body, their presence, the way they feel, the way they look. They are selling their energy. You are buying that energy, you are bringing it into your reality and you´re exchanging that for your money. Because -the exchange is money, isn´t it? So therefore, by masturbating on porn you´re going to find an interesting thing: you´re not going to have money come to you very easily, because you are giving it all away to porn -as one of the energetic consequences of your experience.

Secondly, you are creating an imaginary world that will influence the relationships you have and that will cause you to lose respect or to compare your relationships: the imaginary one which is like a quantum reality where everything is perfect and you are the super-hero that fucks any girl up to the stand that she believes you are god, while in your real relationship it´s not so easy -I mean, that´s a real thing, you´ve got to really work on it to get to the point of the expression being ‘Wow’.

I mean, so, that’s a different story, but in your imaginary one, I mean – you are God, you’re a Sex God. Try and make that imaginary reality real in your physical reality in space and time. It is not possible. It takes time. You see – in your imaginary reality there is no time, because – you are moving time, remember – you are God in it. You are moving the space, you’re moving even the positions. And you can do the strangest things with bodies in an imaginary reality. I mean, they can be on top, on bottom – you can do all the strangest things, because – there is no consequence.

Day 13: Failed Relationships

It is suggested that you share this writing with your partner and see what is the real temperature and intimacy and trust in your relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see that relationships will fail if I have expectations that are greater than the reality of the relationship and I do not communicate and align myself to build intimate trust through effective sharing and immediate self forgiveness if I find that I react in some emotion or feeling towards my partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see that when I project my pre-programmed designs onto my partner that I would create a fighting environment where we would both argue for our limitations creating an energetic game where we would compete with one another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see that to create intimacy within my agreement I have to BE intimate within my agreement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  to not see that if I would like to create a more affectionate agreement I have to give affection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be guided by feelings instead of that which forms effective equal relationships and ended up disappointed and with feelings of failure and inadequacy when my expectations turn out to be different to reality because I did not spend time to get to know my partner and did not make sure that my partner will in fact be able to change to what is best for all life as that will be best for the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self honest about  my life to my partner as I fear they would never accept me if they know all about me, but later when they found out the partner felt more betrayed by me not sharing than about my ideas of my past and how it may influence another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself not to realize that any new relationship is a complete package with the past of both partners as part of the package that must be investigated and released with self forgiveness to make sure past issues that have become part of the living tissue do not emerge to sabotage the newly formed relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that relationships are based in words and that unless me and my partner align our vocabulary to have the same meaning, we will end up miscommunicating and with constant miscommunication, resentment and judgment will build that will sabotage the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that money will play a major role in the effectiveness of any relationship and that if I do not play open cards about money from the beginning to establish trust and to see that there would be no issues about the past of money, the present of money and the future of money, due to a clear understanding to clear the past issues with money together, establish a present effective action with money to build a future with money that would support therelationship to develop in ways that would bond the relationship in its sharing, the money issue will cause resentment and back chat and the back chat will lead to the failure of the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed  myself to not see that sexual ability is always an ego issue and that past sexual skills are not necessarily present sexual effective expression as the new relationship will require new specific alignment and the discovery of each other which must be practised regularly and with full participation from both parties to lead to a fulfilling relationship and that whenever an issue arise, it must be addressed immediately, because if I allow it to fester, it will become back chat as resentment thoughts which will lead to emotions that will influence effective touching and sex and lead to the eventual failure of the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that effective self honest communication and an effective letting go through self forgiveness of the past will support a relationship to be very effective and a pleasure to be part of. Any thoughts that are in any way derogative or judgmental to a partner or any thoughts that would compare a partner to a previous partner or an imaginary partner are all indicators that the relationship is in trouble and immediate communication and self forgiveness to stop this secret position towards the partner must be done or it will grow in energy intensity till it burst over either in infidelity or anger or any other emotion that will be destructive and could be used by either partner to end the relationship.  It must be considered that where there are secrets in a relationship, the likelihood that such relationship will last is not good.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  not consider that when I compromise my values and or cause my partner to compromise values, resentment as secret thoughts will develop with a judgmental blaming nature that will grow and imprint on the physical body until I become possessed with the energy and use the energy to bring change to the relationship instead of preventing these type of events with a self honest heart to heart that leads to self forgiveness and forgiveness of each other where each take self responsibility to act with integrity at all times within the relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have never been trained to be a skilful relationship partner and that education in relationships skills will improve the effectiveness of the relationships extensively and prevent failed relationships.

I commit myself to enter any relationship on the basis of equal agreement to directively  form a sound foundation from where the agreed relationship can prosper.

I commit myself to investigate and understand mypreprogrammed designs, to effectively remove them before I enter in an agreed relationship for life so that I will be aligned to in fact walk my relationship with life as my partner and to insist that my partner do the same as there is sufficient evidence in the many failed relationships that relationship technology and self technology  is necessary to prevent failure and to enhance effective living.

I commit myself to give intimacy as I would like to receive intimacy so that my giving will be the example for my partner as to what I would like to receive and that we as partners agree to not want anything from each other unless we give to each other to show by example what it is we would like to receive as intimate communication, touch and togetherness.

I commit myself to give affection as I would like to receive affection so that my giving will be the example for my partner as to what I would like to receive and that we as partners agree to not want anything from each other unless we give to each other to show by example what it is we would like to receive as affection.

I commit myself to not enter in relationships by feeling, but by agreement as to what is best for both parties to make sure we start with common ground and do not end in failure because we rushed in high on emotion only to found out we were blind to the obvious.

I commit myself to face my fears about the judgments of others and to share my past with my prospective partner so that it can be clear whether the partner will accept all of me or not. Unless both partners accept all of each other’s past regardless of what happened, the relations will not be based on a sound agreement and may fail at any stage. I commit myself to close all back doors so that no sudden secret issue form the past may become the reason for one or the other partner to use it as a reason to call the relationship agreed upon as a failure.

I commit myself to as partners together investigate how words make us feel and experience ourselves and to identify the primary words we would like to live as our world and to redefine these words together so that we can be as one in the creation of our future together as we understand if we work against each other because we are not as one, the relationship is bound to fail. Thus, if we cannot agree to work as one in all our words as living words, the relationship should be failed before it starts.

I commit myself to be open about all money matter, earnings and debt that we as partners can plan our life together and start with a foundation of trust.

I commit myself to leave my ego outside the agreed relationship and to explore sexuality in fun and entertaining ways so that both partners can develop an effective relationship with the body as vehicle of life.

I commit myself to make self honest self forgiveness part of the agreed relationship as that would ensure that the relationship will weather all storms, but the best of it is that most storms will be prevented through clear communication and a structured effective living style.

I commit myself to never compromise the agreed values of the relationship as that will lead to failure and we have agreed that failure is not an option and must prove that in our effective living by not having failure as an option. This will improve communication and the force of two as one will be very effective in all we do in this life.

I commit myself to investigate how I could become more effective with the skills necessary that will ensure that my relationships do not fail.