Saturday 21 April 2012

Day 7: Letting Go of Regret

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wallow in regret as if I would like to punish me for not being able to get what I want and desire on my terms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to engage in relationships on terms that is based in self interest and that time and time again fail to produce a result that is best for all parts of the relationship and that eventually always end in regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that letting go is in fact the act of regret as it follows that which could have been directed breath by breath in ways that is best for all relationships, but because I submitted to my fears and desires for a controlled outcome within which I get what I want and thus I end up as the winner as per my definition as I created it in my imagination, I end up in regret when my imagination and visualization failed to materialize the way I want it to be and then I have to let go of my desire and accept failure. Thus letting go is so difficult as it implies my acceptance of failure as the mind and ego and my ego do not like to lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop the imaginary world in my mind that are not aligned to actual reality regardless of the multiple experiences I have encountered where things did not work out my way and forced me to regret and then to letting go so I can accumulate the will again to try again in getting my way, forcing my way, manipulating my way as I have convinced myself that my way as I visualize and imagine it is my birth right regardless and in spite of the evidence that with each human having this affliction, it means that it is impossible within the current context of agreed illusionary reality to come to a point where all can have what they want and desire.

I forgive myself that I refuse to realize that If I do the greatest easiest act in the real reality of the physical, I can in fact be part of a solution that will make it possible to fulfil my wants and desires as long as I allow others the same in fact and not just in the illusion of free choice which I have founded on the mind where I have as all others, an illusion within which I can imagine anything as if it is really possible when it is not. It is when I try to superimpose the imaginary reality on real reality that I lose my sanity and engage in actions that drives me to regret to remind me that the mind is not reality, but in spite of this constant reminder I keep on using letting go of the previous round of ego, to just do the same mistake again as I try to validate myself as ego, without realizing that the ego I created in the mind is Not a Real being, it is just Imagination feeding off the energy of the physical body and that it ends when the body return to its source.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if I will never die, creating within my imaginary illusion the idea that the way it feels in the illusion is the real me when in fact the real me is the point of regret at the moment of death where I must let go for real for the first time as I lose that which I was able to abuse and manipulate in the name of my ego, my body and the ‘I’ I have allowed myself to become and in which image and likeness I created my reality come to a sudden end.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to see that this world is a world of regret where I have let go of my responsibility through hiding in the illusion of my own making as the energy body as ego in my mind where I wait for death to escape the consequences I know is in every moment coming to me as a dark cloud I have called the devil and darkness just to motivate me to keep on running in circles in my mind to escape this inevitable regret, this what I know I must face as the evidence of this end is proven for all as death, yet I refuse to stop and consider that there is something so immensely wrong and screwed up as this world as my reality and my accepted nature as ego human, that my fear and anxiety grows daily as I keep on falling back to the ego through letting go of the previous failure of the ego, but I do not stop to bring an end to my suffering and fear or stop to bring an end to the suffering of those I have trapped in cycles of absolute desperation through the poverty I have imposed upon them in my search to imaginary excellence and happiness on my terms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a light so blinding that as I search for another, I search for the light that it may blind me so effectively that I can be sure to never let go of my desire for happiness regardless of the regret I have moments of from time to time.

I commit myself to use regret to force me to stop using my mind as reality and that I will dedicate myself to return to home which is here as that which is equal in measurable space and time as the physical.

I commit myself to never engage in relationships made and prepared in my mind and imagination and to spend time in real time through communication and sharing to establish real trusts that will stand the test of time that I may never have to let go of another just because I regret not making sure we are really actually on the same understanding about what is best for life.

I commit myself to never let go of any lesson I have learned unless I have brought it back to physical space time reality where I can find that which is worthy as this experience as the body, my body which I have abused so many times in the name of  desires and search for happiness.

I commit myself to stop my imaginary world and all the players which are just versions on my desires and to focus on living as the body, to focus to become aware as the body in every way equal and one that I may discover the vast universe that existed parallel with me but I never consider as also part of why I am here in a process to find self honesty and to rebirth myself as life.

I commit myself to explain and be the example of this solution as this reality to be part of what is real of this dimension of existence where I spend a predetermined time and to make this reality a place where all will have what is best for all to bring an end to the escape of the regret that visit us all from time to time as we let go of our failures just to repeat our failures. I will not let go of my failures till I have corrected what I have allowed in the name of my ego that Life may be here and ego no more.

I commit myself to be able to live so completely in every breath that I am able to die in any breath and in that moment I will be certain that no regret ever exist and I have lived as Life should live and I have given life as I have received life and in this I have created a world that is best for all life to which each life form will come to be born onto support and abundance and happiness to explore the multiple universe of the physical we have degenerated and degraded to only picture version of our delusions of imagination. I commit myself to get to know directly every part, every dimension that is here that I may see what life is really about in every way.

I commit myself to embrace the darkness as I know I am from the darkness of the womb and that the only light is that which is based on the physical laws and that any other light conjured up in the imagination generator as the mind, is but a way to deny what is here and a way to not take responsibility for life. This world is the evidence of the abuse of the light and it must stop as it will stop anyway at death. Why wait for the regret at death and the letting go that cannot return. I rebirth myself now and live breath by breath that which is best for all life until that is all that is here in this world as all relationships of our definition of ourselves and each other as the image and likeness of life.